Reflective Journal: how to work with negative emotions.

Feb 25, 2024

5 min read

Written by: Giedre Skeiryte

Journaling practices can often feel overwhelming, and the reason for that is having to re-live the negative feelings you once had to go through. That's what I call reflecting, which rewards with courage, will-power and knowledge of own self-worth. This practice opens the doors to healing and growth that some might never experience ever in their life. Can you imagine a life to never have grown or changed at all?

Reflective writing is a beautiful practice which allows individual to change the narrative and be able to re-write a train of thought or an action. This is for the brave souls who trust in the process and hold on to faith to find the light at the end of the tunnel. It is the map to self-discovery with journey that will bring out all kinds of feelings. But trust me, from my own personal experience, IT IS DAMN WORTH IT! So here it is, steps to working with negative emotions and feelings.

1. DESCRIBE. Briefly describe the situation of what happened which caused you to feel or experience a negative emotion (aka. trigger).

What happened?
When and where did it happen?
Who was present?
What did you and the other people do?

If this is your first time reflecting allow yourself to write as much as you feel like writing. However, as your practice continues, try to keep your summary as brief as possible to ensure you do not get lost in the details and get sidetracked from the main goal - to reflect.

2. IDENTIFY. Try to identify a feeling or an emotion which you are feeling now, or felt in result of the situation.

How are you feeling?
How did the situation make you feel?
What were you feeling before and after the situation?
What emotions you can identify as a result of this experience?

BONUS: where do you physically in your body feel these identified emotions? This step will enable you to acknowledge how you feel and might bring a sense of relief or oppositely, bring it back up. Therefore, allow yourself to have a moment to feel the feeling, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it might feel. This is your body's way of letting go of the emotion.

3. DIG DEEPER. This is very important part, so don't skip it. As you are now present with the feeling or emotion, try to dig deeper by asking yourself following questions:

Where is this feeling coming from?
Why do you feel the way that you do?
What are you thinking? What thoughts are currently present?
Where does this emotion take you?

BONUS: when you identify what you feel like - is it true? Does it mean something? "At this stage, you have begun to observe your thoughts. A lot of beliefs we have are based on exaggeration and opinions imposed on us by others," as described by Vex King. This is where you begin to challenge past ideas, any limiting judgements or false assumptions which you have stored in your subconscious mind. The result of this, you will get to the root of the cause and realise that your mind naturally focuses on the negatives aspects first due to survival mechanisms (fight or flight, freeze and fawn).

4. EVALUATE. Now, let's come back to situation which you have experienced. Be honest about what did or didn't go well. This will give you a chance to step back and objectively evaluate the whole situation.

What was good and bad about the experience?
What went well? What didn’t go so well?
How did this make you behave or act like in the situation?
What was the response from others? What were the consequences?

5. ANALYSE. Try to make sense of what happened using your own professional knowledge or using your research to build context and develop deeper understanding. This section will help you to detach yourself from situation and look from a stand point of view (as if you were observing from a side).

Why did things go well? Badly?
Is there something that can explain what happened?
How does my experience compare to the actual facts?
What resources, or knowledge – my own or others, can help me understand the situation?
Could I have responded in a different way?
What might have helped or improved things?

This will allow you take your deeper meanings and evaluations behind your feelings and emotions and take them as opportunities to grow and learn more why you do things the way that you do.

6. CONCLUSION. This is where you reflect on your observations and highlight what could be done to improve the outcome.

What did I learn from this situation? What is the lesson in this situation?
How can this situation have a more positive outcome?
What skills do I need to develop to handle a situation like this better?
What else could I have done?

This step allows you to bring up any alternatives which you can consider if the situation would happen again. Try stepping outside of your comfort zone and ask yourself "what would my best self do differently in the situation like this?"

7. ACTION. This is when you create an action plan to ensure that your response to a similar or related situation is handled in the way that does not, or at least reduces chances of feeling triggered or provoking negative feelings.

What would I do differently if it were to happen again?
How will I develop the required skills I need?
How can I make sure that I can act differently next time?
How /where can I use my new knowledge and experience?

Please don't skip this section either! If you do not set an action, it is almost natural that you will fall back into your old habits. Put this action plan in your phone, or somewhere where you can easily access it, for you, as a guide or a reminder when you need it.

LEAVE A COMMENT: if you have tried this method, I'd love to hear your insights. Doesn't it feel lighter? Will you implement this practice more often? Was it helpful? 📒🖊💭💚

Often what happens when we don't reflect on these negative feelings and emotions is that they present themselves in next situations, which continues to replay all attached limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind without you even realising it. Over time, storing and carrying these negative feelings or emotions on repeat can, in result, manifest as illnesses, sickness and induce heavier feelings such as anxiety and depression.

Please take this with a grain of salt, because I am not a doctor and these are just observations as someone who have experienced and have recovered from struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. This is what helped in collaboration of other mindful practices and support from wellness specialists. If you want to learn more about mindfulness and get more well-being tips, please like and share this article.

Thank you for your support from the bottom of my heart! 🤍✨

Giedre Skeiryte

USEFUL LINKS, SOURCES AND REFERENCES:

Reflective Journal: how to work with negative emotions.

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